Unless you’re lucky or rich enough to turn left on the plane, we all know that flying is far from a glamorous business. But it can be intensely irritating too. With personal space at an all-time low and cabin fever setting in, even the smallest things can cause us to see red. Here we countdown our ultimate pet peeves when we’re at 35,000 feet.

Despite checking in as soon as online check-in opened, your partner's seat is at the other end of the plane. No matter how many times you request to be moved by the cabin crew or look longingly at your neighbour, the chances of being able to swap seats are low. But if some kind soul does offer to move, all hope in humanity is restored.

No matter how much water we drink and moisturiser or lip balm we slap on, we always leave a flight feeling parched and looking like a dried prune. Not to mention that drinking all of that water makes us need the toilet and become an annoying in-flight neighbour ourselves.

The sound of mobile phones pinging and emails whooshing in as soon as the plane touches the tarmac is a common gripe on commercial flights. If nothing else, it makes us think about turning our phone on and we'd like reality to stay at bay for a little longer after our holiday, thank you.

Sitting next to an incessant leg twitcher, foot tapper or compulsive knuckle clicker is about as irritating as it gets on a flight.

There's absolutely no excuse for this anti-social behaviour – no one wants to listen to your game, movie or music. That's why headphones were invented and just about every shop at the airport sells them. Ditto over-bright screens shining right next to our face when we're trying to snooze.

One minute you're stripping off the layers and reaching to turn the air-con on and the next you're shivering under a scratchy airline blanket and can't get warm. What you never are on a flight, is just the right temperature.

Talking of which, why are airline blankets so small? And don't get us started on those pathetically thin pillows. Tip: if you're flying long-haul, take a shawl or cosy hoodie to snuggle up in and your own pillow to wedge against the head rest or window.

Why do people seem to take so long in airplane toilets? Perhaps it's having to contort themselves into the smallest bathroom known to man. And while we're on the subject, equally irritating is being sat near the toilets where people waiting in said queue loiter and lean on your seat.

Is it just us or is there something way too intimate about someone taking their socks off on board a plane? Taking your shoes off we can handle, but naked feet right next to ours? No thanks. If you only wore sandals on board the plane, then make use of the free socks.

Yes, we're looking at you – the stragglers that come on to the plane long after everyone else has boarded with a guilty look and bags full of duty-free shopping. We hope you bought something nice while the rest of us waited for you!

We're all for obeying rules on board a flight but occasionally we get the feeling that the cabin crew keep the seatbelt sign on a little longer than they need to. Especially when we're desperate for the loo and the turbulence stopped over an hour ago.

We all know that airplane food is not the best, but did you really need to bring tubs of odorous home-cooked dishes? Surely a few sandwiches, raw vegetables or fruit would be a more sociable choice in such close quarters? Read our top 12 hacks to create the perfect (and neighbour-friendly) in-flight meal.

What is it about people who eat with their mouths open, slurp their noodles or chomp their teeth? The sound (and sight) of someone else eating can be irritating at the best of times but put us in a confined space for hours and it drives us crazy.

Wet floors, toilet paper on the floor, no soap and wet surfaces. Yuck. Even though we see the cabin crew frequently cleaning the toilets, they always seem to be dirty when it's our turn.

We all know that there isn't enough leg room in economy, but tripping people up with your outstretched legs as they negotiate the aisle in the semi-darkness (or after a few mini bottles of wine) is not on. And, no, we don't want your feet sneaking their way onto our armrest either.

We understand that airlines are becoming very mean when it comes to checked-in luggage but banging people's ankles as you struggle down the aisle with an overstuffed suitcase will not endear you to your fellow passengers. And there's nothing quite like getting whacked in the face by a bulging backpack as someone turns to find their seat to get those anger levels soaring. Read up on an expert's guide to packing efficiently here.

Sitting near a flatulent passenger is far from ideal but potentially hard to avoid. According to a study by the University of Copenhagen, flatulence increases significantly in the air. The gas in your intestines expands as the plane rises and cabin pressure drops. So we may have to accept the fact that flatulence is part of flying. Here are more effects that flying has on your body and how to deal with them.

The blatant disregard of one of the unspoken rules of plane etiquette is beyond bad manners. When disembarking, form an orderly queue and don't stand so close that we can feel your breath on our neck. No one is going anywhere until the doors are open. But equally annoying are the ditherers. You've known we were landing for over an hour so why are you only putting your shoes on and packing your bag now?

Unruly children and inattentive adults are a lethal combination when you're hurtling through the sky. As much as we sympathise with parents travelling with children, if you let little Johnnie sing at the top of his voice for the eleventh time while jumping up and down on the back of our seat, we'll be the next ones to have a tantrum. Here are 40 great family travel tips to make your holiday go as smooth as possible.

Equally annoying, if you happen to be that hapless parent whose child has decided to turn into a screaming banshee mid-flight, are the not-so-subtle sighs, tuts, eye-rolls and generally unhelpful comments about said baby being overtired or hungry from fellow passengers and cabin crew.

No one expects airline-issue headphones to offer the best sound quality but sometimes they're downright useless. Whether the sound keeps cutting out, you can only hear on one side or there's a constant crackle, it's extremely irritating when you're looking forward to binge-watching movies or immersing yourself in an album. The solution? Bring your own.

Picture the scene: someone's entertainment system isn't working. How annoying for them. But to fix it, the crew has to reboot the whole system. Which means you have to watch all of those irritating adverts again before struggling to use the always-awkward control panel to get back to where you were in the film.

You're in luck, your headset is working and so is your screen. But a quick flick through the in-flight magazine and you realise that the selection of movies is quite frankly rubbish. We've seen all of Friends ten times over and the last time we looked, The Lion King was not a new release. Back to the book...

The odd kick is to be expected in the cramped conditions of economy class, but constant kicking is guaranteed to irk us. Ditto pulling our seats back every time you get up or leaning on it while chatting to your friends behind you. Stop it!

You've had a meal, watched three films, been for a walk and a stretch and are just about to sink into a snooze when the lights come blazing on and the air steward wakes you for breakfast. How is it that time already?

From getting up and down to fumbling around in the overhead locker and constant loo-going, having a fidgety neighbour can be a real pain, especially if you're in the aisle seat. Saying that, if you're the smug one that bagged the aisle seat and we need the loo then we're going to need to get past you, so save the raised eyes, please.

Chicken or pasta? You can hear everyone in the rows of front of you requesting chicken and just know when the trolley gets to you that you'll be stuck with the soggy pasta (again). To be in with the best chance of being served first next time, sit strategically towards the front of the rows or pre-book an economy class meal online.

Airports as well as planes can bring out the worst in us. We become queue jumpers or uptight eye-rollers. Crowding around the boarding gates before your group's been called is annoying. Even worse, are people who slip on the plane before they're called, blocking aisles as other people find their seats and disrupting the coordinated process.

Which leads us nicely on to the flyers who are desperate to board early so they can hog all of the hand luggage space with their oversized bags. It means that when others come to board, the only space left is in the compartment at the back of the plane.

You know the type, the minute the seatbelt sign goes off, their seat reclines back and stays that way for the remainder of the flight. Unless you confront the offender or have an attentive steward who tells them to put it upright at meal times, you'll find negotiating your hot drinks and meal tray pretty tricky.

For those of us who prefer an aisle seat, not getting one on a long-haul flight pretty much dooms us to a miserable journey. Sitting next to a someone in the aisle seat who can sleep through even the most traumatic turbulence while you're desperate for the toilet or a stretch is definitely up there with the most annoying things on a plane.

Arriving on the plane reeking of booze and regaling passengers with your drunken rambles does not signal the start of a great next-door-plane-neighbours relationship. Neither does drinking your way through the drinks trolley and flagging the cabin crew down for more wine until you pass out snoring. Although, better that than an aggressive drunk.

If you have a case of plane insomnia, the sight of fellow passengers snoozing peacefully can induce feelings of utter contempt. But worse still are the snorers who interrupt your attempts at slumber with their gurgles, grunts and groans. That's why earplugs are one of our all-time essential flying accessories.

Worse luck if your seatmate has a streaming cold or hacking cough. However, even the man sneezing away in row 33 could be the cause of that cold you come down with on the second day of your holiday. Airplane cabins are a hotbed for germs.

Oh, what luck, the flight is about to take off and no one has sat in the seat next to you. Yay, more room! But what's that? Your next-but-one neighbour has snuck in first and shamelessly spread out across the seat? Just wait until they go to the toilet and pounce…

You've found your seat and are just getting into your book when someone sits on the seat next to you and proceeds to talk at you for the rest of the flight. We're all for a friendly hello and the occasional bit of small talk but we really don't need to know your life story thanks very much. Time to bring out the noise-cancelling headphones and eye mask – sure-fire signals that you're ready for some quiet time.

You've made it through check-in and dashed to the boarding gate with no time to go to the toilet, let alone grab a coffee. But when you take your seat, you're told there's a delay due to air traffic control or safety checks. We understand why this happens but fewer things are more frustrating than sitting on a plane on the ground, especially with the prospect of 10-plus hours confined to a seat. At least keep us updated, let us use the toilets and offer us a drink. Preferably a stiff one.

One of the (few) joys of flying long-haul has to be the uninterrupted movie or TV-fest that you can indulge in. So, imagine the rage that a troublesome touchscreen incurs. A slow and sluggish screen or sticky control panel might be exceptionally irritating but imagine the prospect of 12 hours in air with no entertainment system whatsoever. Then imagine you have a bored child next to you... Pure horror.

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You're wedged into a tiny seat with your legs pressed against the seat in front and the person next to you hogs the armrest. Cue intense feelings of irritation. Limb-spreading, excessive and frequent stretching, and falling asleep on a neighbour's shoulder are also unacceptable flying behaviour. Not invading on a fellow passenger's space is travel etiquette 101.

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From smelly feet and bad breath to general body odour, you can be subjected to some pretty offensive smells on board a plane. Sitting in close proximity to someone who's on the whiffy side tops our list of all-time most annoying things on an airplane. Just pray they get off at your transit stop. 

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