Cruises can be a fantastic way of seeing the world: docking at multiple ports to see destinations in a low-hassle way. But, as you might expect, there’s plenty going on behind the scenes that passengers are unaware of. We've scoured the internet for gossip and spoken to cruise workers to get insider information. Here are some of the cruise ship secrets that might take you by surprise…

Ever wondered why you have to spend so much of your precious time on land travelling by car, bus or train to the major sights? This is no mistake: according to Reddit user theriz, “ports that are closer to a big city cost more money. That's why we would sometime dock far away from a major destination and passengers would have to take a train to the big city.”

With their cheap staff bar, an abundance of new crew members to meet and knowledge of all the ship's nooks and crannies where cameras can't spy them, the crew have all the ingredients for debauchery. As one Reddit user commented, “Once we finish our shift all hell is breaking loose in the crew bar. Just below and to the sides of where you are sleeping there are crew members having sex, smoking and drinking. Our beers are $1.”

It might seem unbelievable, but according to one Reddit user, people falling overboard happens more than you’d think. The former crew member commented: “One cruise we had a production singer thinking it was a great idea to do a hand stand on the railing and he fell over and we spent hours looking for him and was never to be seen again. Everyone thinks he got sucked through the propellers. Drunk people fall off the balconies into life boats or into the water about once per contract. It's sad.”

If you’ve missed going to one of the ports on your itinerary because of weather, it might not be a one-off. One Redditor wrote: “There are situations I've seen on Atlantic crossing voyages, that destination locations are listed that the ship will be visiting, but no one has had good enough weather to get into that port in years. It just makes it look like there will be a destination instead of repeated days at sea.”

People dying at sea isn’t a rare occurrence, according to one Reddit user, who said: “There are morgues below deck and a jail cell. We get at least three deaths onboard a month. Some people go on a cruise to die.” Another user said: “Some folks take cruises when they know the end is near and request burial at sea”.

While relationships between crew members are to be expected, fooling around with passengers are strictly prohibited: if you break the rules, you could be fired immediately. According to one Reddit thread, this is because “the cruise companies don't want to be liable for anything and rape accusations are all too real”. Crew can’t take elevator rides with guests on their own, and if they take photos with the passengers, both their hands must be visible.

If you’ve ever docked at several ports that are only a short distance for each other and wondered why you didn’t just stay in one port, Reddit user theriz has the answer. "The ship only makes (good) money while it's out at sea, so I've been on voyages that would spend the late-afternoon and night at sea instead of in port, in spite of two destinations being 30 minutes from one another,” theriz wrote.

A cruise worker confessed on Reddit that on occasion luggage can fall in the water being loaded onto the ship, and that the ship gives you a less than satisfactory refund for the loss of your belongings.

If you’re going on a cruise, you’d better hope everything goes well, because according to one Redditor, the staff are not prepared for emergencies. The former cruise worker wrote: “The staff on most all cruise lines are not trained nearly well enough to handle an abandon ship situation. It would be chaos if it were to happen on a large vessel. The safety briefing you go to is just theatre and we want to be there even less than you do.”

If you work on a cruise, you’ll likely have to share a room with other people. And this often makes you a desirable partner: if you have a room to yourself (usually reserved for high-ranking crew members) you’ll immediately become more attractive to your colleagues, according to one Reddit thread. A former cruise worker said: “Girls (and guys) go crazy over you [if] you have a solo room”, while another wrote: “if you make it known you have your own room then people will seek you out in the crew bar."

If you’ve ever arrived at a port late, or left early, it wasn’t just by chance: according to one Reddit thread, the captain earns bonuses for saving fuel. The Redditor wrote: “Leaving port early or arriving late means the ship can go slower and conserve fuel which means more money for the captain.”

Whatever you’re doing, don’t assume you’re doing it in private: the crew know what you’re doing, whether you’re on your balcony, in the corridors or in the hot tub. One Reddit user revealed: “What people fail to realise is just how many cameras there are on the ships. You never are truly alone unless you're in the cabin.”

As well as taking a physical examination before getting on board, crew members also have to take random drug tests while on board. As one Reddit user wrote, “if you want a cruise ship job, stop smoking weed 3 weeks ago.”

One Redditor admitted the crew enjoy winding up passengers, writing: “A favourite was while in a passenger area say to another crew member, loud enough to be heard by passengers, ‘Meet you in the bowling alley tonight!’ Then we'd wait for the comment cards to come in: ‘Why do crew get a bowling alley when we don’t?’"

We spoke to an anonymous former cruise worker who admitted that the crew had plenty of inside jokes about the passengers. As well as calling them “cones”, because they stand around not knowing where they’re going like traffic cones, he said that the crew used to moo like cows when they saw passengers being loaded on and off the ship as they "looked like cattle".

The anonymous cruise worker we spoke to said that the crew will often laugh at passengers behind their backs, especially if they ask stupid questions. The top stupid questions included “does the crew sleep on board?”, “what time is the midnight buffet?” and “are Jack and Rose onboard?"

Many Reddit threads shed light on worrying practices behind the scenes on cruises: people working 12-hour days with no days off for 10 months straight, discrepancies in the way different nationalities are treated, and not receiving tips that were paid for on credit cards. One worker said he appreciated being tipped in cash or being given phone cards to call home.

When there’s a medical emergency or another problem that needs urgent attention, the crew won’t announce it over the tannoy system: instead, they’ll use codes such as “bright star”. If you hear that, you know something’s happening.

Most people know that toilets on a ship aren’t quite as robust as toilets on land, but some passengers will still throw anything and everything away, from T-shirts to shoes. On one forum, a poster said that flushing just one tampon or condom could break the toilets for multiple floors and could only be fixed by ripping open multiple pipes and pumps.

While it may not happen very often, there have been several cases of cruise ships being attacked by pirates, meaning the crew must be trained to deal with this sort of threat, especially in high-risk areas, and may even have onboard security guards.

According to former cruise staff talking in a number of online forums, not only are tax laws bent at sea, with cruise companies registering their ships to foreign countries, but labour laws are disregarded altogether. Staff often work painfully long hours for months at a time with no breaks, all for shockingly low salaries.

If you’d visited the same port week after week, you’d also know where to find the best food, bars and shops, so follow the crew once you’re in port. One Redditor wrote: “The crew knows where the cheap and good food is, where the best dive bars are, and for the most part the safest places in the area.”

It might seem unusual, but plenty of people, both passengers and crew, go missing from ships. Most notably cruise worker Rebecca Coriam went mysteriously missing in 2011. It’s estimated that 200 people have vanished from cruise ships since the start of the millennium. There's even an entire website set up to keep track of it.

Most people who go on cruises love to explore the destinations on the itinerary, but if you’re late back to the ship, it really will leave without you, even if the rest of your family is on board. Cruise companies pay the port for the time they’re using, and if they go over their allotted time, they could have to pay hefty fines.

Going on a cruise might save you money on flights or train trips, but your ship is probably less environmentally friendly than any other form of transport. One environmental group says that just one medium-sized cruise ships emits as many pollutants as five million cars going the same distance. Plus, the air quality on board some cruise ships’ decks is worse than in some of the world’s most polluted cities.

Cruise ship outbreaks regularly make headlines, especially when it comes to norovirus. The highly contagious virus, which causes gastroenteritis, spreads quickly when there are lots of people in a small space such as a cruise ship, and is why there is such an emphasis on hygiene while on board. If there is an outbreak on board, you’ll notice things like salt and pepper shakers disappearing from tables and passengers with symptoms being confined to their cabins.

Passengers leave anything and everything behind, from curling irons and children’s toys to chargers and flip flops. According to one worker, if you’re nice to staff, they’ll be happy to offer you something from lost property if you've forgotten anything.

While everyone loves a tip, they like a positive note on a comment card even more. If you explicitly name a crew member who you felt did a great job, you can help them get onboard perks like free wi-fi, commendations from their bosses and even promotions.

Behind the scenes, the crew are always divided into cliques, according to multiple forums: not only are they divided by language, nationality and race, but also by their jobs, with different ranks getting different levels of food, and only the highest levels of staff able to use guest pools, bars and other amenities.